Talking In Your Sleep
A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.
The other night, during a deep sleep, the man yelled, “Fore!”
His wife, also in a deep sleep and not missing a beat, yelled back, “Four fifty!”
Eye Examine
“Doctor!” whined the patient. “I keep seeing spots before my eyes.”
The physician scratched his head, “Why have you come to me? Have you seen an ophthalmologist?”
“No,” replied the patient, “just spots.”
Rule #1
A pastor at a Christian school, wanting to point out the proper behavior forchurch, was trying to elicit from the youngsters rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant.
“Don’t play with your food,” one second-grader cited.
“Don’t be loud,” said another, and so on.
“And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?” the pastor inquired of one little boy.
Without batting an eye, the child replied, “Order something cheap.”
Childrens Discount?
Sally was selling tickets at the movie house when I got a phone call. This woman said, “How much is a ticket?”
Sally said, “Four dollars.”
She said, “How much for children?”
Sally said, “Same price, four dollars.”
She said, “The airlines charge half fare for children.”
Sally said, “You come to the movie – put the kids on a plane.”