“Ask Jeeves” / “Foot Snuggle” / The dog did it / Hard to please

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ImageAsk Jeeves”

My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular “Ask Jeeves” site, and we told her it could answer any question she had.

Nancy‘s mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, “It’s true, Mom. Think of something to ask it.”

As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy‘s mother thought a minute, then responded, “How is Aunt Helen feeling?”

“Foot Snuggle”

On a chilly winter evening, my husband and I were snuggled together on the floor watching television. During a commercial break, he reached over and gave my foot a gentle squeeze.

“Mmmmm,” I said. “That’s so sweet.”

“Actually,” he admitted sheepishly, “I thought that was the remote.”

The Dog Did It

I had worked late and my Labrador was so overjoyed to see me arrive home that he jumped up just as I leaned down. Our heads collided and I sported an impressive shiner for several weeks.

I had to repeat frequently to co-workers and friends how I came by it and one day on the elevator, a secretary whom I hadn’t seen for some time looked at my black eye and exclaimed, “My goodness, what happened to you?”

“The dog did it,” I wearily replied.

A man standing next to us looked over at me and said knowingly, “Ah, you must own a boxer.”

Hard to Please

When I was a child, I remember my mom telling me, “Son, when you grow up, you can marry any girl you please.”

When I became a young man, I learned the sad fact was that I couldn’t please any of them.

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