Cartoon“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the

Need An

The man had finally got around
to taking all the broken umbrellas to the repair shop. Next morning on his way
to his office, when he got up to leave the street car, he absentmindedly laid
hold of the umbrella belonging to the woman beside him, for he was in the habit
of carrying one. The woman cried “Stop! Thief!”, grabbed her umbrella
back and embarrassed the poor man no end! That same day, he stopped at the
repair shop, and received all eight of his umbrellas duly restored. As he
entered the street car, with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he
was horrified to behold, glaring at him, the lady of his morning’s
misadventure. Her voice came to him charged with a withering scorn: “Had a
good day, didn’t you.

In Sick

The local high school has a
policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for
the day. Kelly (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school
and go to the mall with her friends waited until her parents had left for work
and called the school herself. This is the actual conversation of the telephone
call. Kelly: “Hi, I’m calling to report that Kelly so-and-so is unable to
make it to school today because she is ill. Secretary at high school: “Oh,
I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll note her absence. Who is this calling?”
Kelly: “This is my mother.”


“You seem to have more than the average share of
intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a
witness on the stand. “If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the
compliment,” replied the witness.

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