several years, he was troubled and went to see his pastor.
I’ve got real problems at home with the woman you married me to, back in
1988.” “Sorry to hear that, Eddie,” the pastor said. “What
seems to be the problem?”
The root of all evil, isn’t it? All she wants is money.
asking me for Money! Money! Money!
sakes, Eddie…what does she do with the money you do give he?”
“How should I
know, Pastor! I ain’t never given her none.”
to a third grade student: “Billy, if both of your parents were born in
1967, how old are they now?” Billy: “It depends.” Teacher:
“It depends on what?” Billy: “It depends on whether you ask my
father or my mother.”
Indians one with black hair, a redhead, a brunette, had set up camp and became
very much in need of food, so they went out hunting. A little while had passed
and the one with black hair, came back to camp with a bear. The other two asked
how he got the bear. He said, “I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, I
get the bear.” The next day, they go hunting again and the redhead comes
back to camp with a deer. The other two asked how he got the deer. He said,
“I see the tracks, I follow the tracks, I get the deer.” The
following day, they go hunting again and the brunette comes back to camp all
bloody and disfigured. The other two asked what happened. He said, “I see
the tracks, I follow the tracks, I get hit by train.”
Senior Citizen and Proud of It
“Last year I replaced several windows in my
house. They were the expensive, double-insulated and energy efficient type.
This week I received a call from the contractor, complaining that the work had
been done, a year had passed, and I had failed to pay for the job. Boy, oh boy,
did we go round and round and I told him no one pulls a fast one on this ol’
lady. Even though I’m a senior citizen, that doesn’t automatically label me
stupid. I then proceeded to tell him exactly what his salesman told me last
year, ‘In one year, these windows will pay for themselves’ “.