ImageMarried Witness
An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
The lawyer thundered at him, “Have you ever been married?”
“Yes, sir,” said the witness in a low voice.  “Once.”
“Whom did you marry?”
“Well, a woman.”
The lawyer said angrily, “Of course you married a woman.  Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?”
The witness said meekly, “My sister did!”
Open Mouth, Insert Foot
At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. 
One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.
When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, “So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?”
“Well, I suppose,” she replied, “I’m still cooking it.”
Dental Mommy
For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me, a dental hygenist, clean her teeth.  She was accompanied by her grandmother.
When they came in, I greeted them warmly, seated Kelsey, and, as usual, put on my gloves, goggles, and mask.
About ten minutes into the procedure, Kelsey got scared and cried, “I want my mommy!”
I quickly pulled off my mask and said, “I AM your mommy.”
Without hesitation, my daughter yelled back, “Then I want my granny!”
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