Lost Bible
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later a cow walked up carrying the Bible in it’s mouth.
The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes.
He took the book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the cow.
“Your name was written inside the cover.”
Fight Lights
I am a very nervous flyer.
During a trip from
Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering.
I mentioned this to a flight attendant.
“I’ll take care of it,” she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights.
A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said,
“Whatever you do, please don’t ask about the engines.”
Longevity
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
