The Cost of Living (Adam & Eve Joke – not to be taken seriously ladies…)
God said to Adam, “I am going to make you a helper, a companion. What would you like your companion to be like?” Adam replied, “Well I want someone that is humorous, witty, intelligent, compassionate, caring, loving, trusting, polite, generous and beautiful.”
God paused a moment after Adam’s wish list and told Adam that a companion like that ‘would cost him an arm and a leg.’ Adam seemed a little dejected and then brightly replied: “What can I get for a Rib?”
Flattered Minister
A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church doors for the last time. He shook the hand of an elderly lady as she walked out. She said “Your successor won’t be as good as you.” “Nonsense”, said the pastor, in a flattered tone. “No, really”, said the old lady, “I’ve been here under five different ministers, and each new one has been worse than the last.”
Christians in Heaven
Why are there no Christians in Heaven yet? Because they are all still at the gates, saying to each other: “After you”, “No, I insist after you…”
Religious Lightbulb Jokes
How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.
How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.
How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb? CHANGE?!!!
How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.
How many tv evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.
How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? None: Candles only.
How many Amish does it take to change a lightbulb? What’s a light bulb?
How many Polygamous Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
How many Jehovah’s Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you’ve seen the light!
