I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow.
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Buying appliances
Never buy an appliance from a man on the street who’s out of breath.
Bad Luck
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. (Ed Furgol)
What do you call a boomerang
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick.
Humor Quote
I’ve got stained glass windows in our house. Stupid pigeons.