If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you
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A job interviewer asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I said, “Ideally, suspended with pay.”
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“Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?”
Temperature
“Last week, the temperature was in the 20s and yesterday it got up to 45 degrees. It’s crazy, I keep having to change my outfit…
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When your parakeet sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
