Your Real NameBy chance, a man named John Smith witnessed a mugging. When the cops arrived, the officer in charge asked the witness his name.”John Smith,” John told him.”Cut the funny business. What’s your real name?””All right. Put me down as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.””That’s more like it. You can’t fool …
Your Weight Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from the Teterboro airport in New Jersey. I knew I would be flying in a very small plane, so I wasn’t surprised when the clerk said, “The plane is very full with baggage and passengers.” …
Your Weight / Piece fo Mind / “Committee Praise” Read More »
Zero to 200A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife’s birthday.His wife told him, “Tomorrow, there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in under 10 seconds.”The next morning, the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened …
A man dies. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, …
Kyle and Justin were about to eat with the baby sitter when 6-year-old Kyle said, “You can’t sit in Daddy’s seat!” Daddy’s not home,” the baby sitter replied. “Since I’m responsible for you while he’s gone, I can sit here. Today I’m the boss.” Justin, the 4 year old, quickly …
Two priests were talking together and the older one said to the younger, “You know, when you came into church with all your new ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well your ideas were going to work.”
“When you wanted to put bucket seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now, at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to agree that it was a good idea.”
Wrong stuff A parts manager for a small electronics shop had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead. Furious at the factory’s incompetence, he promptly sent the part back along with a letter …
Wrong Stuff / A real professional / What’s his name? Read More »
You must be good An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends, and he took along a few pictures to show to them. The hostess looked at the photos and commented, “These are very good! You must have a good camera.” The photographer didn’t make any comment, but as …
‘n Gesprek vind een oggend plaas by ‘n kleuterskool. ‘n Klomp kleintjies is besig om die tipiese “groter beter beste” gesprek te voer. Die een seuntjie sê; “My boetie doen karate!”. ‘n Ander dogtertjie vertel grootoog : “My boetie doen gimnastiek” Die kleinste dogtertjie in die groepie trek haar asem …
An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitation, the dean selects infinite wisdom. “Done!” says the angel, and disappears in …
