The closest to perfection anyone ever comes is when he or she fills out a job application form.”
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You know times are tough when you order a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asks, “Can you afford fries with that?”
I broke my leg in two places
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places…
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Ever notice how the people who tell you to settle down are the ones who got you mad in the first place?
Humor Quote
I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there’s a decimal point involved.