Switch Tower Pete
A guy named Pete gets a job as a switchman with the railroad, and undergoes weeks of training. The supervisor then takes him into the switch tower to test his readiness. The following exchange takes place:
Supervisor: “Imagine you were sitting here alone and you learned there was a train coming from the North on that track, and another coming from the South on the same track. What would you do?”
Pete: “I’d throw this switch right here and put one train on the other track.”
Supervisor: And what if that switch didn’t work?”
Pete: “I’d go down to the track and throw that big switchlever there, putting one train on the other track.”
Supervisor: “And what if that switchlever didn’t work?”
Pete: “Then I’d come back here and call the dispatcher to stop both trains.”
Supervisor: “And what if the phone didn’t work?”
Pete: “Then I’d go to that gas station across the street and use their phone.”
Supervisor: “And what if their phone didn’t work?”
Pete: “Then I’d go get Uncle Joe.”
Supervisor: “Uncle Joe??? What would he do?”
Pete: “Nothing, but he ain’t never seen a train wreck.”
Necklace
Tourist: “What an interesting necklace. What is it made of?”
Native: “Alligator’s teeth.”
Tourist: “I suppose they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.”
Native: “Oh! No, no; anybody can open an oyster.”
Paying The Bills
A mangy looking guy who goes into a restaurant and orders food. The waiter says, “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.”
The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me the food?”
“Deal!” replies the waiter.
The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the counter and it runs to the end, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard, and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.
The waiter says, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.” The guy downs the hamburger he ordered and asks the waiter for another.
“Money or another miracle,” says the waiter.
The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the counter, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the counter runs over to the guy and offers him R800 for the frog.
The guy says, “It’s a deal.” He takes the eight hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the restaurant.
The waiter says to the guy, “Are you crazy? You sold a singing frog for R800? It must have been worth millions.”
“Not so,” says the guy, “the hamster is also a ventriloquist.”
