New band member
A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having a terrible time keeping time with the rest of the band.
Finally, the band leader said, “Look, either you learn to keep time or I’ll throw you overboard. It’s up to you, sync or swim.”
A wise judge
Several women, each trying to one-up the other, appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived.
The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, “Okay, I’m ready to hear the evidence…I’ll hear the oldest first.”
The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.
K9 Partner
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.
As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked.
“It sure is,” I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then toward the back of the van.
Finally he said, “What’d he do?”