Honesty and Accuracy
A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, “How long will it take me to get to the next town?”
The farmer didn’t answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again.
After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out, “About 20 minutes.”
“Thank you. But why didn’t you tell me that when I asked you?”
“Didn’t know how fast you could walk.”
Doctor Behavior
A new nurse at a hospital was perplexed by Dr.Mike Wilson’s behavior.
Off and on throughout her shift Dr. Wilson would run up and down the hallway, yelling, “Tetanus, measles, flu…………..””
Very curious, the nurse asked the head nurse, “Why does Dr. Wilson keep doing that?”
“Oh, just ignore him,” the head nurse said. “He thinks he calls all the shots around here.”
T-shirt mottos
As a new paratrooper, I was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto “Death from above!” Later I noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared “Death from below!”
Then, standing in line for chow one day, I was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and yet another warning: “Death from within!”
Identification
I requested identification from a department-store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase.
After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.
It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.
Helping a customer
While we were working at a men’s clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband’s blue eyes stand out.
“Ma’am,” he explained, “any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough.”
