Helping out

One day a young mother was sick in bed at home with her young daughter. The daughter was about four, and always wanting to be of help to her mommy. So while her mother was sick, the young girl got some magazine for her mom, fluffed all the pillows for her, and even made her a cup of tea! Her mother was very pleased with the tea and asked her daughter how she had ever learned to make tea on her own. Her daughter proudly told her mom, “well mommy, I’ve seen you do it LOADS of times. Only this time I couldn’t find the strainer, so I used the fly swatter instead.” “YOU WHAT!?!?!” her mother cried. “Oh don’t worry mommy, I didn’t use the new fly swatter, I used the old one.”

Death Row

No matter how hard my cousin tries, every plant or flower she attempts to grow seems to wither and die an untimely death under her care. But she never gives up hope. While my sister was visiting her home recently, she nudged me and pointed to a line of new plants placed along the kitchen window. Look,” she whispered, “death row.”

Are You Hurt?

A ranger outfit was having training in mountain climbing. One of the men slipped and began falling into a precipice. “Are you hurt?” asked another. “I don’t know yet,” a weak voice was heard, “am still falling!”


A couple was touring the Capitol in Washington D.C., and the guide pointed out a tall, benevolent gentleman as the congressional chaplain. The lady asked, “What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the Senate or House?” The guide answered, “No, he gets up, looks at the Congress, then prays for the country!”

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