Go to Church
After a church service on Sunday morning, our son suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up.” “That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?”
“Well,” he said, “I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen.
Teaching today
After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said: “Let me see if I’ve got this right.
“You want me to go into that room with all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. And I’m supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.
“You want me to wage a war on drugs, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self-esteem.
“You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, and fair play, how and where to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job.
“I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for their elders and future employers.
“And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
“All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, an old computer, a few books, a bulletin board, and a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for a welfare allowance!
“You want me to do all of this, and you expect me NOT TO PRAY?”
No good!
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!
