School Excuse
At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and Mrs. Hacking. One morning the mother of a student called in the middle of a flu epidemic to excuse her daughter from school.
“Is she in Paine or Hacking?” the school secretary asked.
“She feels fine,” said the confused mom. “We have company and I’m keeping her home.”
Goodwill Offering
During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he served for some months, his hat was passed around for a goodwill offering.
When it returned to the pastor, it was empty. The pastor didn’t flinch.
He raised the hat to Heaven and said, “I thank You, Lord, that at least I got my hat back from this congregation.”
Graduation Speech Notes
When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. “I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life,” he told the audience. “She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice.”
At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause he looked up with a sly grin and said, “It’s really hard to read my mom’s handwriting.”
