Give Me a Break!
Marvin found the following ransom note slipped under his front door: “Bring $50,000 to the seventeenth hole of your country club tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. if you ever want to see your wife alive again.”
But it was well after 1:00 p.m. by the time he arrived at the designated meeting spot. A masked man stepped from behind a bush and demanded, “You’re three hours late. What took you so long?”
“Give me a break!” said Marvin, pointing to his scorecard. “I’m a 27 handicap.”
Lost Cell Phone
When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at “Mom” and pushed Send. His mother answered and I told her what happened.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll take care of it.”
A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was “Mom.”
“Martin,” she said. “You left your cell phone at the convenience store.”
My daughter’s 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy.
One morning at breakfast she announced, “On Friday we’re having a quiz on the moon.”
That’s when her little brother piped up, saying, “Are you gonna let her go, Mom?”