Getting to heaven
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into heaven?”
The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For heaven’s sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'”
Gamat
Gamat is oorlede en by sy graf staan sy pêl en kyk na die kis.
“Dja, Djyt ni geglo inni hiemel nie!
En djyt ni geglo inni hel nie!
En daa lê djy nou, all dressed up and nowhere to go!”
Paid vacation
“‘That’s a great place to work!” shouted my 16-year-old brother after coming home from the first day at his first job. “I get two weeks’ paid vacation.”
“I’m so glad,” said my mother.
“Yeah,” added John. “I can’t wait to find out where they send me.”
Application
During a visit to the retirement home, I asked the director, “How do you determine whether or not a person should be institutionalized?”
“Well,” said the Director, “We fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”
“No,” said the Director. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”
