Get Well Soon
A
motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The
doctors operated and advised him that all went well. However, the officer kept
feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be
second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy
to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him
so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of
adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off. Written in large black letters
was the sentence: “Get Well quick, from the nurse you gave a ticket to
last week.”
Do Something!
A plane
full of retirees headed for
was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, “Two of our engines are on
fire; we are flying through a heavy fog and it has eliminated all our
visibility.” The passengers were numb with fear, except for one – a
retired minister. “Now, now, keep calm,” he said. “Let’s all bow
our heads and pray.” Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray,
except one man. “Why aren’t you bowing your head to pray?” the
minister asked. “I don’t know how to pray,” replied the passenger.
“Well, just do something religious!” instructed the minister. The man
got up and passed his hat down the aisle, taking an offering.
Jerk
While reading the newspaper,
Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a
boxer who was not noted for his IQ. “I’ll never understand,” he said
to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”
His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”
