Better By Train
A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of the engines broke down. “No problem,” the engineer thought and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down and the train came to a standstill.
The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly.”
A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them.
The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. “So you buried all the politicians?” asked the police officer. “Were they all dead?”
The man answered, “Some said they weren’t, but you know how politicians lie.”
Two Plus Two
A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?”
The mathematician replies “Four.”
The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?”
The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.”
Then the interviewer calls in the statistician and asks the same question “What do two plus two equal?”
The statistician says “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and poses the same question “What do two plus two equal?”
The accountant gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says “What do you want it to equal?”