Computer Users
Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate, and Expert.
Novice User – Someone who is afraid that simply pressing a key might break a computer.
Intermediate User – Someone who doesn’t know how to fix a computer after pressing the key that broke it.
Expert User – Someone who presses the key that breaks someone else’s computer.
Pessimist
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.
For example, as a duck hunter, I was in the market for a new bird dog a few years ago. My search finally ended when I found a dog that could not only retrieve, but could actually walk on water! Of course I bought him immediately but wasn’t sure how I’d tell my hunter buddies.
I decided to try to break the news to one friend at a time starting with a long-time buddy who was also a hunter. He was a pessimist by nature, but invited him to hunt with me and my new dog.
As we waited, carefully concealed by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. We fired, and ducks fell at a distance. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the birds, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long–each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
My pessimist buddy watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word about it the entire day.
On the drive home the silence was suddenly broken when my friend said, “Too bad about your dog.”
A little surprised at his statement, I asked, “What do you mean?”
“I mean,” drawled the pessimist slowly, “it’s too bad ya got stuck with one that can’t swim.”
Parking meter
On a visit to Cape Town, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: “Broken.”
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car’s owner rushed out of a nearby building.
“What are you doing?” he yelled after a quick glance at the meter. “There’s plenty of time left!”
