Technical support for Husband 1.0
A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate Woman
DEAR DESPERATE Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0. or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It is of no use to try out Affair 3.25. It also has a serious virus and will eventually force you to format your computer and you’ll loose everything.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
Hiccups
While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened.
The teller took my friend’s check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.
“Why not?” my friend asked incredulously.
“I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, “but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,” she continued, “our records show your account overdrawn in excess of R50,000.”
“It can’t be!” he cried. “You have to be kidding!”
“Yes, I am,” she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. “But you will notice that your hiccups are gone.”
