Be Realistic
Recently launched into the
“real world” and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my
brother was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.
“If you got married,”
teased my dad, “the premium would be much lower.”
My brother smiled and said,
“Dad, that would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts.”
Milk Switch
To help a friend lose weight, I
told her that she should switch to lower fat foods, including skim milk. When
she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep
their regular container and refill it with skim milk.
This worked for quite a while,
until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay.
“Sure, it’s fine,” my
friend answered, fearing she had been found out.
“Why do you ask”?
The daughter explained,
“Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired two years
ago!”
Lingo
When my husband joined the
Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only did I have to get
accustomed to his short haircut, but also to his new sailor lingo.
I eventually got used to him
saying aye instead of yes, but nothing prepared me for the night when I was
seven months pregnant and trying to roll over in bed.
In his sleep, with a very military sounding
voice, my husband shouted at the top of his lungs, “She’s comin’ in on the
port side!”
