A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A Simple Operation
A man was fleeing down the hospital hall just before his operation. An orderly stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?”
“I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation. Don’t worry. I’m sure it will be all right.'”
“She was just trying to comfort you.”
“That’s why I’m frightened. She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to my surgeon.”
The Lift
An American visiting in
“No, if I ask for the elevator, I mean the elevator.”
“Well, over here, we call them lifts.”
“Now, you listen here. Someone in
“Oh, right you are, sir. But someone here in
“Nice Boyfriend”
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.”
