Letter

LetterA father passing by his son’s bedroom was
astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he
saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,
“Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read
the letter with trembling hands:

Dear
Dad,

It
is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my
new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I’ve
been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve
of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and
because she is so much older than I am but it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s
pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy.  

She
owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the
fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it and trading
 it with the other people in the commune
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In
the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for cancer so Joan can get
better; she sure deserves it!  

Don’t
worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday,
I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your
son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at
Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than the report card that’s in my desk drawer.

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