If you travel alone into desolate places, always bring a deck of cards. If you get lost you need only start playing Solitaire. Someone will inevitably come up behind you and say, “Put that red nine on the black ten!”
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Some days
“Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.”
I refuse to answer that question
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
Humor Quote
Actions speak louder than words, but not as often.
Humor Quote
Instead of John, I call my bathroom Jim. It sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.