I am a nobody … nobody is perfect … therefore I am perfect.
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The last time I took advice, it only worked because I changed it.
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They say the pen is mightier than the sword. But if you miss a deadline you’d better bring the sword.
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Every time I hear that dirty word, “exercise,” I wash out my mouth with chocolate.
Dog friends
“The reason a dog makes so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.”