I don’t live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck.
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Someone showed me how static electricity worked today. I was shocked.
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An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
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“Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?”
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“All this talk about death by chocolate, yet chocolate still roams free.”