I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills, or cleaning up their kid’s mess.
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“Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time – I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
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By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
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The only member of my family with a personal trainer is the dog.
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Eventually you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
