Typing testA soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said, “We have a critical shortage of typists. I’ll give you a little test. Type this,” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.
The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. “That’s fine,” he said. “Report for work at 8 tomorrow.”
“But, aren’t you going to check the test”? the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned.
“You passed the test,” he replied, “when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.”
Bad Morning
Discovering that I’d overslept, I abandoned my usual morning routine and rushed out. In the van, though, I realized I had time to stop for a take-out coffee.
I got my coffee and returned to the van, only to find I had not only left it running, but had locked it!
The day was going from bad to worse.
I returned to the shop, sheepishly explained my situation to the clerk and asked if I could borrow a broom.
I managed to open a side window and pop the lock on the back door using the broom handle. When I returned the broom, the clerk said, “I know you’re having a bad day, but…”
“I know, I know,” I interrupted. “You want to know how I can unlock my van with a broom.”
“No,” she said. “I wanted to tell you that your shirt is on inside out.”
First Date
A boy is about to go on his first date and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies, “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family and philosophy.”
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time. As the boy’s nervousness builds, he
remembers his father’s advice and chooses the first topic.
remembers his father’s advice and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl, “Do you like potato pancakes”?
She says, “No” and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list.
He asks, “Do you have a brother”?
Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks, “If you did have a brother, do you think he would like potato pancakes”?
