The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
Mime Boarding School
Hundreds of kids are shipped off to Mime Boarding School every year, never to be heard from again.
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The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
Thieves who steal
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.