The World’s Best
After ordering a milkshake, a man had to leave his seat in the restaurant to use the rest room. Since he didn’t want anyone to take his shake, he took a paper napkin, wrote on it, “The world’s strongest weight lifter,” and left it under his glass.
When he returned from making his call, the glass was empty. Under it was a new napkin with a note that said “Thanks for the treat!” It was signed, “The world’s fastest runner.”
A couple on a safari was going through Africa when a lion leaped out, attacking the husband. As the lion was about to put the man’s head in his mouth,the victim yelled to his wife, “Shoot! Shoot!”
The wife called back, “I can’t, I’m out of film!”
Seen on a birthday card.
Forget about the past, You can’t change it.
Forget about the future, You can’t predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn’t buy you one.