The picnic
A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town’s annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
“This baked ham is really delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi. “You really ought to try it. I know it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don’t know what you’re missing. You just haven’t lived until you’ve tried Mrs. Hall’s prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?”
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, “At your wedding.”
Make sure
Two hunters are out in the wild hunting, when out of nowhere, one of the hunters falls to the ground. The other hunter checks if he’s breathing, but there’s no sign of life, so he calls 911: “Please! Help me! I think my friend is dead!”
The operator says: “ok, ok, calm down, first, make sure if he’s dead”.
After a short moment of silence, a gunshot is heard, then the frantic hunter says: “ok, now what?!”
The first date
A guy walks into a bookstore. Not looking for anything in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots something of interest. A book, with a very interesting title, “Dating for the New Millennium. What Women Want.” So he picks it up and opens it to a random page.
“Chapter 1 The First Date.”
So, he glances the chapter over for a few minutes, and rushes out of the bookstore to call a friend whom he’s wanted to ask out for quite a while.
When he gets home, picks up the phone and calls her. She answers, “Hello?”
He says, “Hi, Jessica? It’s me. Listen, I was wondering if you would want to go see a movie with me tonight?”
She says, “Sure, I’d love that.”
He gets excited. He thought she’d say, “No Way!” but she didn’t. So, he decided to take it one step further.
He asks, “Great, well how about dinner before the movie?”
She replies, “Sure, that would be great too!”
“Fine, I’ll pick you up about 9, you should have finished eating by then!”
