School Forms
“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary on the first day of registration. “He’s a magician,” said the new boy. “How exciting. What’s his best trick?” “He saws people in half.” “How impressive! Now, do you have any brothers or sisters?” “Yep…one half brother and two half sisters.”
Get Organized
One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels. The crew’s foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation. The supervisor radios back and says, “Don’t worry, we’ll send some shovels.. just lean on each other until they arrive.”
Organized Sports
A small social club was trying to organize a baseball team. They could only muster eight players, but finally found a ninth to play. In desperation, they called on a new member, an Englishman, to join their team. During their first game, the Englishman came to bat. On the first pitch, he knocked the ball out of the park. “Run!” his teammates cried. “For Pete’s sake, run!” The Brit turned and stared at them icily. “I jolly well shan’t run,” he replied. “Why should I? I’m perfectly willing to buy you chaps another ball.”
