Moving out
His aching back made it impossible for my friend’s husband to get a decent night’s rest on their lumpy mattress. “Until I feel better, I’m going to sleep on the couch,” he announced.
Ordinarily, a spouse moving out of the bedroom isn’t a good sign for the marriage. So his wife couldn’t resist: “Okay, but as soon as we have an argument you’re back in our bed.”
Babysitting
I don’t think I’ll ever have a mother’s intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 10-month old nephew.
I said, “What do I do if he cries?”
She said, “Give him some vegetables.”
It turns out that jalapeno is not his favorite.
Coffee maker
Cousin Elly is the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up.
When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it.
Salesman Riley carefully explained to her how everything worked – how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready.
A few weeks later Elly was back in the store and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker.
“Wonderful!” she replied, “However, there’s one thing I don’t understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?”
