Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
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An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
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Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
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The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee.
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The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.