Looking younger
In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: “That’s the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger.”
“Then I don’t want it,” retorted the matronly customer.
“I certainly can’t afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!”
Moses and the Red Sea
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. “Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”
“Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked.
“Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!”
Waterbottles
Trying to do my share for the environment, I set up a trash basket at my church and posted above it this suggestion:
“Empty water bottles here.”
I should have been a little more specific, because when I Â went to check it later, I didn’t find any bottles in it. But it was full of water.
Safe
Dad is from the old school, where you keep your money under the mattress—only he kept his in the underwear drawer. One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe—a can of spray paint with a false bottom—so he could keep his money in the workshop. Later I asked Mom if he was using it.
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “he put his money in it the same day.”
“No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!” I gloated.
“They won’t have to,” my mom replied. “He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer.”
