Landing in the Fog
An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically nil, the ILS system is on the blink, so the pilot has to land on wits alone. “Flaps, check,” he says to the co-pilot, “Landing Gear, check. Altitude, check. Right, we’re going in. Hold on.”
The plane lands and comes to a screeching, grinding halt; just short of the edge of the runway. “Wow!” exclaims the pilot, “This must be the shortest runway I’ve ever landed on!”
The co-pilot looks left and right and says “Yeah, and about the widest, too…”
A Few Shelves Short of a Store
Two businessmen in New York city are sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store isn’t ready – only a few shelves are set up.
One says to the other, “I bet any minute now some tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we’re selling.”
No sooner are the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious southerner walks to the window, has a peek, and in a Southern drawl asks, “What’re y’all sellin’ here?”
One of the men replies, “Oh! We’re selling baboons here.”
Without skipping a beat, the southern gentleman says, “Well, I see y’all’re doing really good. You only got two left!”
Second Career
A retired Navy admiral, my father began a second career working in a bank. One morning, while he prepared his desk for the day, he was approached by a young officer from the nearby Naval base.
“Sorry, but this department isn’t open yet,” Dad said.
“But it’s nine o’clock!” protested the officer.
My father didn’t look at his watch. Instead, he surveyed his customer’s uniform.
“Ensign,” he snapped, “I’ll decide when it’s nine o’clock!”
