Italian Restaurant
The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased with his meal that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.
“Your veal parmigiana is truly superb,” the customer said. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there!”
“Naturally!” the chef said. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!”
Â
Â
Marrying Grandpa
My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa.
She was in her 20s, and the man she was dating left for war.
“We were in love,” she recalled, “and wrote to each other every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your grandfather was.”
“Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the war?” I asked.
“Oh, I didn’t marry the man who wrote the letters. Your grandfather was the mailman.”
Â
Motivation
My wife knows just how to motivate me. She’ll say, “Do you want to do the dishes tonight, dear, or would you rather have a live weasel stapled to your thigh?”
Â
Baseball
On a spring break trip to Italy, my friends and I were standing just inside St. Peter’s Basilica, the second largest church in the world. The tour guide explained, “This church is so large that no man on earth could hit a baseball from one end to the other, not Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, or even Mark McGuire.”
My group stared in silence at the beautiful marble sculptures, intricate paintings, and glorious mosaics all around the enormous building. Then one girl interrupted the silence with an astonished question: “You mean, they actually let them hit baseballs in here?”
