When your parakeet sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
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Humor Quote
I used to work in a plant crushing pop cans: It was soda pressing.
Six months to live
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more. Walter Matthau
Humor Quote
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.
If you can’t convince ’em
If you can’t convince ’em, confuse ’em.