“At my age, forget all the health food; I need all the preservatives I can get!”
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“If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge?”
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Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
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My wife wanted me to start taking cod liver oil for my health, but I thought there was something fishy about the whole idea.
Dog friends
“The reason a dog makes so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.”