Pygmy Hunter
A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing beside it.
Amazed, he asked: “Did you kill that?”
The pigmy said, “Yes.”
The hunter asked, “How could a little bloke like you kill a huge beast like that?”
“I killed it with my club.”
The astonished hunter asked, “How big is your club?”
The pigmy replied, “There’s about 60 of us.”
Vacuum Manure
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”
“Go away!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.”
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
“If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”
“Well,” she said, “I hope you’ve got a good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning.”
Special price
A woman walks into a butcher shop and asks the butcher how much a kilogram of tenderloin is.
“R110 per kg,” replies the butcher.
“Are you sure? That can’t be,” says the lady.
“Look, madam, it says right here on the advertisement that it’s R110 per kilogram.”
“But that seems so high compared to other butchers in the area.”
“Lady, maybe they gave you the price for a poorer cut of beef.”
“No, the butcher across the street said it was R70 per kg,” she says.
“Well, then, why don’t you go buy it there?” asks the butcher.
“Because they are all out.”
“Well, when I’m all out, I sell it for R60 per kg,” retorts the butcher.
