Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me R40,000, but it’s state of the art.”
“Really?” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?”
“Twelve-thirty.”
Marriage Vows
Ken and Marjorie finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library.
“You know,” said Marjorie, “today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don’t use the word ‘obey’ anymore.”
“Too bad, isn’t it?” retorted Ken. “It used to lend a little humour to the occasion.”
New Baby
“Hi Susie,
Thought I’d send a short email to apologize about our lunch date yesterday … I don’t know what made me think we could chat and catch up with the baby there … guess I’ve learned my lesson — you just can’t have any kind of sensible conversatii) ###yyt JJ9s(wwb3*kkjnn xbbp $mmk???zzllwwpzt#BBBp223# #jjjj(((dfsssw4 —// … — with kids around.
Love,
Jane
Out of the mouths of youngsters!
The Sunday school teacher asked a little boy: “How old are you?” The little chap said, “Seven. And how old are you?” She replied,”I’m 70.” Amazed the little darling said, “Whoa, you’re almost dead!”
My young daughter had received a pretend doctor’s bag as a birthday gift. Wearing her plastic stethoscope around her neck one day she said, “Daddy, let’s play doctor. I’ll be the doctor; You be the one who waits.”
Little David noticed a dead fly on the window sill. Calling over his mommy he asked her, “What’s wrong with the fly? Is it broken?” She said, “No, dear, the fly is dead.” Without hesitation David replied, “Oh. It needs new batteries.”
My two young daughters were playing one day when I heard the older one tell the younger one, “When we get to heaven we get a new body.” After a short pause, “and a new head too.”
