Annoying neighbours
A tenant complained to his landlord, “The people in the apartment upstairs sure are annoying. Why, last night they stomped and pounded on the floor until midnight.”
“Did they wake you?” the landlord asked.
“No,” the tenant explained, “Fortunately I was up playing my tuba.”
Blocked View
As a realtor, I deal with all types of people. Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the fantastic view from the living room.
But when I dramatically pulled back the drapes, the disappointed husband asked,
“Where is the view? Those mountains must be blocking it.”
Cookie Calories
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In addition to the healthy items on his wife’s carefully prepared list, the two of them returned home with a package of sugar-filled cookies.
“Why in the world did you buy those?” his wife asked. “You know they aren’t good for you!”
“Oh, but don’t worry, honey, these cookies have one-third less calories than usual in them,” the husband replied.
The wife looked all over the package but couldn’t find any claim to that fact, so she asked, “What makes you think that?”
“We ate about a third of the box on the way home.”
