Looking tired
A neighbor said to me, “Steve, you look tired.”
“I am,” I said. “I just finished doing 50 push-ups.”
“Oh really? When did you start doing push-ups?”
“Well, I did the first one in 1986.”
Eating Out
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.
The Truth Log
The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate with a bit of stowed-away rum. He got so drunk that he was still a little drunk the next morning. Later in the day, when the first mate had sobered up, he looked in the ship’s log. He read the captain’s entry for the day: “The first mate was drunk today.”
“Captain, please don’t leave that in the log,” the mate said. “This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself.”
“Well, is it true?” asked the captain, knowing full well it was.
“Yes, it’s true,” admitted the mate.
“If it’s true, it has to stay in the log. That’s the rule. If it’s true, it goes in the log. End of discussion!” said the captain sternly.
Weeks later, it was the first mate’s turn to make the log entry.
The first mate wrote: “The ship seems to be in good shape. The captain was sober today.”
