Hospital Request
When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. One item on her list was “comfortable underwear.”
Not sure what she considers comfortable, I asked, “How will I know which ones to pick?”
“Hold them up and imagine them on me,” she answered. “If you smile, put them back.”
Interview Excerpts
The following, allegedly, are actual post-interview excerpts collected from middle managers who, needless to say, probably did not hire any of the people mentioned here:
- “Applicant stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.”
- “She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.”
- “A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.”
- “Applicant asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.”
- “Applicant announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer’s office – wiping the ketchup on her sleeve.”
- “Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.”
- “Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.”
- “When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.”
- “At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left.”
- “Applicant pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.”
- “Said he wasn’t interested because the position paid too much.”
- “During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.”
- “A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: “Which company? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said, “I assume you’re not interested in conducting the interview any farther.”
