Homework Excuses
Excuses to give your teacher when you don’t do your homework.
– I didn’t do my history homework because I don’t believe in dwelling on the past.
– I didn’t want the other kids in the class to look bad.
– A sudden gust of wind blew my homework out of my hand and I never saw it again.
– Another pupil fell in a lake and I jumped in to rescue him. Unfortunately, my homework drowned.
– Our furnace broke and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing.
– I’m not at liberty to say why.
– I wanted to frame the detention letter you’re about to give me.
– It was destroyed in a freak accident involving a hippo, a toaster, and a bag of frozen peas. You don’t want to know the details.
– I have a solar-powered calculator, and it was cloudy.
– I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
– My mom used it as a dryer sheet.
– My agent won’t allow me to publish my homework until the movie deal is finalized.
– It’s against my religion to do any homework.
– I was abducted by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted space aliens, and they incinerated my homework with their death rays.
– I felt it wasn’t challenging enough.
– My parents were sick and unable to do my homework last night. Don’t worry, they have been suitably punished.
– We had homework?!
– I see your lips moving, but all I am hearing is “blah, blah, blah.”
– I didn’t want to add to your already heavy workload.
– I spent the night at a rally supporting higher pay for our hard-working teachers.
Cherokee 180
One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, “What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?”
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: “I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I’ll have enough parts for a second one.”
Bakery Robbery
My cousin was behind the bakery’s cash register one morning when a gunman burst in and demanded all the cash.
As she nervously handed over the money, she noticed the rolls of coins in the back of the register.
“Do you want the rolls too?” she asked.
“No,” said the robber, waving his gun. “Just the money.”
