Grandparents
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
Bacon and Eggs
Bacon and Eggs walk into a bar after a long day of being bacon and eggs. They walk up to the bartender and ask for a drink.
The bartender takes one look at them and says, “Sorry fellas, but we don’t serve breakfast.”
Execution problem
In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.
The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens, he declares that he’s been saved by divine intervention so he’s let go.
The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn’t release the blade, he claims he can’t be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.
They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, “Wait a minute, I see your problem…”
