A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work
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If you can’t tell the difference between your ice cubes and your ice cream, it’s time to throw BOTH out.
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“Bank robbers give a bad name to people who just want to deposit their check with a mask on.”
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Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put…
The only thing that’s sure to go up
I put all my money into taxes. That’s the only thing that’s sure to go up